“Elby on a Rant,” Contemporary Flash Fiction by Jeff Posey

Elby stood on the overlook and peered through binoculars at a horse pack train of hunters. She swung around and spotted another pack train father down, and yet another up toward Cherry Cairn.

She ripped the binoculars from her eyes and rounded on Uncle Marshall Garvin and Baxter.

“Why is it that men feel the urge to go out and kill things? Is it the blood? You like to see blood? Maybe smell it? Get it on your clothes? Maybe even taste it?” She flung the last words.

Baxter started to speak but Garvin slapped him with a hand towel and gave his head a sharp “No!” shake.

“And these bow hunters are the worst! They have to get close enough to see every detail of the carnage they cause. Have you seen the tips on those arrows they use? It looks like something the religious zealots used against witches back in Salem. Have you seen those torture tools from The Inquisition? Obviously made by hunters. Bow hunters. Because they already knew the ways of torture and murder. Have either of you stared into the eyes of a mother elk and shredded her heart out with one of those wicked arrows? Tell me. I need to know.”

“Uh,” said Baxter.

“Nope,” said Garvin.

“But I bet you’d like to, wouldn’t you?” She stepped forward like an actor on stage and the men cowered obediently. “Just like every man secretly wishes they’d been with the Vikings when they raped and pillaged. Or Genghis Khan. He raped so many women, his genes are dominant throughout Asia and Eastern Europe. Did that make him successful? Is that why you men do that? And rape is no different than bow hunting — creeping forward with your hard, erect weapon ready to pierce your prey, then jumping out and stabbing them with it, over and over, while they flail and scream and blood soaks everything, and you men like it so much you keep doing it in every, every generation.” She sobbed. “Every time you hunt, you re-enact the rape and pillage of entire continents by sneaking through the woods and flinging your weapons at the innocent creatures of the forest.”

She stopped. Garvin kept his eyes on the ground. Baxter glanced at her, then away.

“You know what those horses are loaded down with?” Elby asked, raising up again in renewed anger. “Beer! As much as they can carry. More than they can possibly drink. They’ll kill and maim innocent animals all day and drink all night, just like un-evolved mankind ten thousand years ago. Their lizard brains taking over. They’ll probably hump each other in the night for lack of virgins or young boys to destroy.”

She turned slowly away from the men and her shoulders relaxed. She mumbled something almost too quietly to hear. “If I was worth anything at all, I’d sneak down there with a big hunting knife and when they’re passed-out drunk I’d cut their dicks off.”

Garvin forced himself not to imagine what she described and instead wanted to comfort the girl, put his arm around her, pull her forehead into his throat as he used to do after her parents died. But this outburst seemed different. More deeply angry. He wondered, as he had many times before, what his sister’s husband had done to this girl. He should’ve seen it. Should’ve done something about it. If the man were living now, Garvin imagined caving the man’s face in with his fists.

Elby started crying and ran into the forest.

Baxter stepped to go after her.

“I wouldn’t,” said Garvin. “She’s too prickly to comfort right now. She’ll smooth out on her own.”

“What happened to her?” Baxter asked.

“I’m afraid only she knows, the poor girl,” said Garvin.

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Anasazi Video: 500 Nations Documentary Excerpt

Ten-minute excerpt from 500 Nations documentary on the Anasazi and ancient civilization.

This is a very good introductory video for these specific reasons:

  • Feeling of the environment in which the Anasazi lived
  • Brief history
  • Fantastic visuals
  • Engineering and building abilities of the Anasazi
  • Realistic recreations of pit houses
  • Map of ancient roads into Chaco Canyon
  • Signal-fire system
  • Computer-generated images of Pueblo Bonito at its prime (though they left out people)

Overall, this is a very good primer for those planning to visit Chaco Canyon or Mesa Verde for the first time (or after your first time).

I normally like to cite the sources and link back to the material I post here, but the source of this particular video baffles me. It’s called “500 Nations,” but that does not seem to lead to its source. There was an eight-part mini-series documentary that aired in 1995, narrated by Kevin Costner, by the title 500 Nations. I’ve not seen that (yet), but this ten-minute clip does not seem to be from that. I mean, it doesn’t sound like Kevin Costner narrating this to me. Does it to you?

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“Part 1 of 3: Is Communications ROI Part of Marketing ROI?” by Jeff Posey

Greg Banks is a Director for Deloitte Consulting LLP. One of Greg’s career specialties is Marketing Return on Investment (MROI). I spoke with him about how we can apply MROI principles and leading practices to corporate communications.

Greg’s MROI practice philosophy is well-summarized in an article he wrote for Deloitte titled “The MROI Mandate.” In short, he advocates five recurring steps:

  1. Architecture
  2. Standardization
  3. Analysis
  4. Dashboarding
  5. Change

This conversation took in December 2011.

Jeff Posey: Do you believe communications can be a marketing function?

Greg Banks: Sure. Communication is a big part of a marketer’s toolkit. When you call it corporate communications, I believe many experts would place that under the umbrella of marketing.

JP: How could communicating with employees affect marketing?

GB: Let’s paraphrase Philip Kotler’s definition of marketing: “answering customer needs profitably.” It’s often been the case that virtually all employees affect marketing. In recent years, employees’ impact on customers has become even more pronounced because of first the Internet and now social networking. Employees and customers and all other sorts of stakeholders have conversations in virtually every direction at various times.

I’m not saying that all employee communications is marketing, or even that all communications is marketing, but under the broad definition of marketing, employee communications can easily be included.

JP: What portion of corporate communications might not be considered marketing related?

GB: It gets a little philosophical. As an example, some would say that Human Resources communications on 401-K benefits is outside of marketing. But I could make a case that this is marketing – to employees.

JP: Does that get into your position of “Open-Loop” vs. “Closed-Loop” marketing?

GB: That’s a bit of a tangent, but it’s one that I like.

JP: I have the luxury of knowing your material.

GB: Yes, you do. You helped me write a lot of it!

You remember well then that one of the biggest changes in our professional lifetimes has been going from Open Loop to Closed Loop. It used to be that we controlled most of the information customers knew about products and services [a Closed Loop], and today that’s no longer the case [it’s become an Open Loop].

Think about all the many steps that happen before your information actually affects the buyer. Customers get influenced by your employees, their peer groups, media, blogs, texts, and countless others. Mix and match all these together, and it can take a long time for any particular piece of information to pop up later and influence the buyer to buy or not to buy

The term Open Loop hasn’t caught on since we wrote that article, Jeff. It has been usurped by concepts like social networks. Nevertheless, the points are still valid. Companies don’t control anymore, at best we influence. Even though a communication may pinball around for several weeks, you’ve still got to figure out if it’s helping you or hurting you. And how much effort you put into trying to control it.

JP: Are these social networks more than we can get our arms around?

GB: No. We humans keep figuring it out, at a slightly slower rate than we invent it. The new communications paradigms – where individuals drive their own networks – complicate matters a lot. But we’re getting our arms around it.

At Deloitte, as an example, we have a whole practice devoted to what we’re now calling “unstructured data,” where we organize pictures and text in daily volumes that improve upon decades of the past – and we can analyze it the same way we have been analyzing structured data. It’s new and exciting, and yes a little overwhelming at times, but we’re getting our arms around it.

JP: That would be a complicated thing to visualize, I would guess.

GB: Yes. There’s a whole other practice forming called data visualization, just to draw these kinds of maps. The ones I like best look like a stellar system. There’s a big star in the middle, then hundreds of planets and moons. The star is an influential person or media outlet or company, the central point of influence, and then it goes all over. A recent issue of the Harvard Business Review has an article with a great graphic [see “Forget Viral Marketing — Make the Product Itself Viral,” with this graphic]. It’s evidence of how many people are working hard to catch up with it from a business perspective.

The first thing that has to be done is an acceptance that, even when it looks as complicated as this, it is still something that needs to be measured and managed. To butcher a quote from the third Godfather movie, “if history has taught us anything, it’s that anything can be managed and measured and treated like an investment.”

JP: So even communications people have to think like investors?

GB: Yes, absolutely. Everybody has to think like business owners who manage for profit and not get thrown off by details of the changes going on all around them. Everyone should drive growth and profit to remain viable. It might be hard to measure, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a freebie.

Next Monday, see Part 2 of 3: How to Measure Investments in Communications

As used in this document, “Deloitte” means Deloitte Consulting LLP, a subsidiary of Deloitte LLP. Please see www.deloitte.com/us/about for a detailed description of the legal structure of Deloitte LLP and its subsidiaries. Certain services may not be available to attest clients under the rules and regulations of public accounting.

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“Eyes of Elby, Eyes of Gold,” Contemporary Flash Fiction by Jeff Posey

Elby stood in the middle of the cheap hotel room wrapped in a thin towel and tried not to cry. She wanted to feel, but she also had to think. The shower had done wonders for her, and even still damp, she wanted another. Warm water washing everything away. Down the drain. That’s what she wanted. Scrub things out of her system and wash them away never to be seen again.

She began to pace and the tendrils on the fringes of her of wet hair, made almost black by water, began to dry and were like waving fronds of spider web. She cinched the cheap towel around her more firmly, an unsure child trying to swaddle itself.

Flashes of Baxter’s eyes went through her mind. She stopped pacing and thought about lying on the bed, but a jumpy ache in her tired body spurred her on. She clenched her fists.

“Come on, then,” she said through a tight jaw.

First eyes: Beady, distant, like a killer’s stare, maybe that of a military sniper. What did they call that? The thousand-yard stare? Something like that. The first time she’d seen Baxter’s eyes, they frightened here. She’d warned Uncle Marsh to stay away from him.

Smiling eyes: But the second time she’d seen him, she didn’t even recognize him at first. Smiling, gentle eyes with a laser-beam focus that seemed to reach deep inside of her and warm her heart. Later, of course, she saw how he could turn on that look like a water spigot. Not genuine, she said to herself when she realized it. These looks were only a tool of his. Something he used to get what he wanted. To manipulate her, and she knew that even as he did it.

She paced hard now, using the full length of the room, the breeze she generated drying her, the chill of dampness leaving her replaced by a growing heat that made her uncomfortable. She flung the towel toward the bathroom door and paced naked, feeling the cool air dry her pubic hair and she became aware of the next set of Baxter’s eyes.

Lover eyes: He drew her in, made her want to swoon into the caress of his lips, part her legs in submission, followed by desire, followed by insistent lust. Eyes with no hint of deception or manipulation, but only gentle, patient longing.

She struck at nothing with her fists, pummeling them into the torso of no one. How had she let herself be drawn into that? She knew better, she knew better. She almost burst into tears, but fought them, burned with a fever of self-disgust and anger and even … she had to take three deep breaths to realize this part … even a lust that still burned.

“If I were a man,” she said aloud, “I would cut my penis off.” But what has a woman to so easily self-mutilate that would have any hope of removing the part that offended her? If she cut anything out to make it go away, she knew, it would be her heart. For somehow outside of every boundary of reason, he had kindled a flicker of love inside her and she knew it, hated herself for it, wanted it to be gone almost enough to take her own life. But not quite. Because there were more of his looks.

Lying eyes: Not just the eyes of a liar, but a haughty liar, one well-practiced, fully aware, superior in a sociopathic sort of way, like the gaze of a coyote, wholly innocent in the self-awareness and self-knowledge that they are killers without remorse, both amused and proud of their own lack of morality.

Hateful eyes: The eyes of the caught-in-the-act, not remorseful, but angry at being revealed and thwarted, whirling to strike out disproportionately without regret, a nuclear bomb dropped in response to the slight turning away of a shoulder.

She wanted, once again, to kill him, and that’s when she saw the final set.

Dead eyes: Staring at nothing, feeling nothing, so very, very similar to the first eyes she had seen in Baxter, the thousand-yard stare of death, the glazing-over gaze of never more.

Elby shuddered and crossed her arms beneath her breasts and shortened her steps. And slowly, slowly a smile crept onto her face. The best eyes came next.

Realization eyes: Only a moment before death, but she saw. When he knew that they had won and he had not. Not because he hadn’t wanted it badly enough or had made a mistake. But because she and Uncle Marsh had wanted it more and had wholly defeated him.

She rifled through her torn and dirty fanny pack and withdrew one of the leather sacks of gold sand. She dipped her forefinger into it and the rich sparkle clung to her skin. She pinched it out and covered her chest, her breasts, her stomach, her public hair, her thighs, and finally her face. She glittered. Of gold. Like some Mardi-Gras queen. Like an ancient goddess. Like a thief.

In the mirror, she saw her own eyes, the truly final eyes, the ones that would look back at her forever. She stared without breath, without life, without thought or desire, until finally she moved, blinked her eyes, and turned on the shower. She stepped into the steaming water and washed a couple thousand dollars off her skin and down the drain.

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“Social Media and Amazon KDP Select Free: A Marketing Test,” by Jeff Posey

I’ve been giving the Amazon KDP Select program a try with my new publications, which I’m publishing on a twice-a-month schedule while I burn up my backlistof short stories.

That frequent of a publication schedule allows me to feel I can experiment a little, so I have.

For my first first two titles, a novel and a short story, I used all five of the KDP Select free days in one stretch. During those five days, I sent one message per day through my social media network, which is about 4,500 people spread across Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. Here are my results of freebie copies downloaded (I can’t bring myself to call them “sales”):

Anasazi Runner: a novel of identity and speed — 419

Girl on a Rock: a short story — 426

In both cases, about 85 percent of the downloads came in the first three days. The decay curve looks like this:

Clearly, the first three days are the most productive, with the second day the most active by a small amount. (Makes me think one-day promos aren’t as good as two- or three-day promos.)

I decided to offer my next title free for only three days. Based on my first two experiences, I would expect about 85 percent as many downloads, or about 350.

But I wanted to test something else. How many of the freebie downloads were due to Amazon organic discovery versus my own social media marketing efforts?

I therefore offered my next title for three days of Kindle Select free with no social media marketing mentions.

Results:

The Pump Jack Potion: a short story — 118

That is almost exactly one-third of expected downloads.

Hence my conclusion: Social media marketing sparks two-thirds of actions taken by people to download free KDP Select offerings of my titles.

What does that mean for actual sales? I don’t know. I do know that I’ve been selling five or six titles per week since the first of the year when I began publishing my backlist of short stories, most of which tie in at a tangential fashion to my other works. Before I began that, I sold one or two a week.

Is that due to my freebie short stories acting as sales tools? Maybe. It’s impossible to know for sure because Amazon chooses not to share that kind of information with it’s itty-bitty self-publishing business partners.

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“The Pump Jack Potion,” a Kindle short story by Jeff Posey Now Available

The Pump Jack Potion: a Kindle short story

Buy on Kindle for $0.99 FREE through January 17! (free to Amazon Prime members until April 11, 2012)

What will petroleum be worth after we use up the easy reserves?

It’s the year 2349 and American society has remade itself to run off of sustainable energy. But they’ve also found that crude oil contains something so magical and useful it’s one of the most valuable substances on the planet.

This is the story of a petroleum prospector of the future, wandering the San Juan Basin in northwestern New Mexico, the stomping grounds of the First Anasazi 1,300 years earlier, as well as the immigrants who flocked there after the first collapse in 2054 to establish a Second Anasazi colony — these were the ancestors of petroleum prospector Richard Langhorne Serles.

The Pump Jack Potion is a single short story that will take average readers less than a half-hour to read.

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“Elby POV: Marshall Garvin,” Contemporary Flash Workshop Fiction by Jeff Posey

Elby pleased. She knew that. As an only child, she lived for the twinkle of approval in her parents’ eyes, so she marched like a good soldier to the rhythm set by others: teachers, coaches, adults in general.

Now she watched Uncle Marsh walking on his old-man toothpick legs, calves like the gnarled roots of live oaks she had seen washed out along creek beds in Texas. Her parents were gone six years now. The teachers of her past had faded into memory. Pleaser, she thought. She hated that. And had mostly overcome it. Except for Uncle Marsh. He was the only one left who had that old power over her.

Uncle Marsh stopped on the trail and Elby almost ran into him.

“Maybe we should wait for him,” he said, not turning around toward her, his backpack sagging as he leaned forward to rest.

“Maybe we should hide from him,” she said.

Uncle Marsh turned and looked at her, that ever-present micro-grin on his lips, the mischievous glint in his eye hidden behind sunglasses. He gave a massive shrug, unbuckled his belt strap, and swung his backpack to the ground.

Elby sighed and slithered her own load to the ground as well. She always loved shedding her backpack. The relief felt immense.

Uncle Marsh lifted his knees high and bounced on his tows. “Moon gravity,” he said.

She smiled. He always said that when he dumped his pack. Losing a fast fifty pounds, he said, was like suddenly walking in the lower gravity of the moon. Once she had figured it out and his math was all wrong. The moon had less than a quarter the mass of the earth. If ditching the pack meant you lost eighty percent of your weight, then it really would be like moon gravity. But neither of them carried, or could carry, two-hundred-pound packs.

“The astrophysicists would kick your butt,” she said. She knew he knew what she meant. They’d had this discussion before, though not for a couple years. It’d been that long since they had hiked together with full backpacks.

“You don’t think we should be helping Baxter, do you?” Uncle Marsh asked.

She swallowed the first two impulses: First, to apologize and say she would do better (to please him); second to accuse him of being blind to the manipulation of a man they didn’t even know. They were both, she knew, symptoms of her own dysfunction and not a measure of reality. Two years of weekly visits to a shrink after her parents died had taught her that, made her classify her initial emotions as mere knee-jerk reactions unworthy of acting upon. But it didn’t change how deep the feelings ran, how powerful and dark and mysterious they were. She wanted simultaneously to slap Uncle Marsh and to hug him. I’m losing my mind, she thought.

She sighed and looked at him. “Do you really think there’s a Kokopelli pictograph back here?”

He moved his shoulders, stretching the muscles. “No.”

“So why are we here?”

“I don’t know why you’re here. I’m here because Baxter sneaking around looking for his great-great-great-grandfather’s treasure is the best entertainment I’ve had in years.” He squared to her with a set jaw. She took it as a challenge. A question. Why was she here?

“To protect you from Baxter,” she said softly. Was that really it? She’s said it from impulse. She didn’t trust impulses. She liked to think things through, bull through with brainpower. Uncle Marsh was the same way.

His micro-grin went macro, his coffee-stained teeth gleamed through his lips, and he laughed. He nodded and smacked his lips. “You watch my back, then, dear. I don’t trust the guy either.” He put his hand to the silver stubble on his chin. “In fact, I think we need to get a look inside that pack of his. Tonight one of us can distract him or be the lookout and the other can take a peek. Can you do that?”

Now she smiled. “What are we looking for?” The thought of snooping through Baxter’s things sent a thrill through her. A voice inside, more like her mother’s tone than her father’s, said Not Supposed to Do That, but she ignored it.

“Oh, I don’t know. ID. Treasure map. Gun.”

“You think he has a gun?” She hadn’t thought of that. Now she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

“I think he’s got something in there,” he said. “And I want to know what it is.”

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Book Review for Writers: “Long Lost,” by Harlan Coben


Long Lost
, by Harlan Coben
Source: My mother cleaned out her bookshelves and gave me a hard-cover edition
Kindle price: $9.99
Publisher: Signet; 1 edition (March 31, 2009)
POV: First person, locked

This is my third Harlan Coben book, and likely my last. My wife calls his books “candy.” And no, that’s not chocolate, which has depth and character. This is pure high-fructose corn syrup.

Lack of depth characterizes candy. It’s all on the tongue, very little in the throat, nothing in the stomach. Yeah. That’s Coben.

Example for learning purposes: The main character, Myron Bolitar, is gut-shot and tortured (including waterboarding — no popular writer seems to be able to resist waterboarding these days) for sixteen days in one of those infamous “dark sites” that our government wants us to believe either doesn’t exist or exists for our own good (candy laced with poison?).

When Myron returns, he goes straight back to his office to work. Not without symptoms, of course. Coben’s not saccharine. Here’s how Myron feels while he’s working (page 231 of the hardback): “I felt jittery and anxious for reasons I can’t explain. I even bit my nails, something I hadn’t done since I was in the fourth grade, and searched my body for scabs I could pick.” Like maybe the scabs from the bullet entry and exit wounds? And nail-biting, oh dear, that must be one of the worst post-traumatic stress syndrome symptoms on the market. My point is, this is cardboard, shallow, weak. Not believable.

And then there’s Myron’s sidekick, Win. Scion of an ultra-rich family. Expert in all the firepower and deadly arts money can buy. Win is like Myron’s super power, called upon only when Myron has to get out of a scrape no mere mortal can escape. Except even Win isn’t powerful enough to save Myron from the waterboarding and his rather ordinary rendition. What a weak super power.

As for story structure, the first three chapters are like a short story that have almost nothing to do with the rest of the book. I usually read Kindle Samples of a book before I “buy,” which is more about choosing to read than an expenditure of money. For this book, the Sample would have led me wholly astray.

Okay, I’ll stop complaining. It’s hard, actually, to extract nutritional learning from high-fructose storytelling. Worse, it’s rather depressing, because readers seem to love candy (in a nation of diabetics and obese people, that’s a huge surprise). Harlan Coben is right up there with James Rollins and James Patterson for supplying the hungry masses with junk food for their reading eyes.

Lessons for writers:

  1. To hone your shallow writing skills, focus on action over character development at every opportunity.
  2. Magic (in the form, in this case, of a friend who is rich and demented enough to do almost anything) can get your main character out of almost any plot hole, which can save the writer tons of work.
  3. If this is the kind of writing you do, please, please charge $0.99 for your Kindle books, because frankly, even that’s over-charging the buyer.

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“Baxter POV: Marshall Garvin,” Contemporary Flash Workshop Fiction by Jeff Posey

Baxter looked at Marshall Garvin standing ready to go up the trailhead. He had transformed into the garb of a field geologist, a role he clearly loved, and Baxter remembered the first time he’d seen Doctor Garvin dressed like this: His senior geology summer field trip. Doctor Garvin led two weeks of it in the Cerrillos Hills south of Santa Fe, New Mexico. Little vegetation covered the ground, so the complex structure of the rocks could be seen and painstakingly mapped to solve the riddles Doctor Garvin tossed out every day: What was the direction of the compressive force? In which direction lay the deepest water: What do you expect to find as you move toward the compressive force?

Baxter had thought them odd ways to assign daily field geology questions, each of which was due by the end of the two-week session.

He grinned looking at Garvin. The man didn’t even remember him. Baxter had gotten a degree in Doctor Garvin’s geology department at Texas A&M University, and the old man didn’t even recognize him. Baxter felt like a chameleon, his true self hidden from view. He had always been good at fading into the background. Back then, he preferred to observe than to participate.

As he grew older and discovered his gift for changing identity, he began to be very participatory. A personality Doctor Garvin had never known.

“Are you up for this?” Baxter asked.

“How many times you been back up there?” Garvin asked.

Here he goes, Baxter thought. He’d heard other professors call it “Garvin’s Roundhouse.” He liked to go around the bush before he made his points. “I don’t know,” said Baxter. “Six or eight.”

“You know the meadow?” asked Garvin.

“Right there at the foot of Pagosa Peak?”

Garvin nodded.

“Sure, I know it.”

“How much cash have you got?” Garvin asked.

“What?” Baxter had no idea what Garvin was getting at. “He had the feeling he would soon tire of Doctor Garvin.

“I’ve got about two hundred,” said Garvin. “How much you got?”

I’m not telling you that, old man, Baxter thought. He had nearly five grand with him, stuffed into the bottom of his backpack. Just in case he needed to make a quick getaway. “I got about two hundred, too,” he said.

“Good,” said Garvin. He jerked up his pack, balanced it expertly while he threaded his arms through the shoulder straps, then shrugged mightily while he tightened his waist belt.

“Garvin took two steps to Baxter and extended his right hand. “Two hundred dollars I get to the meadow before you,” said Garvin, his eyes a challenge, his mouth a tight grin.

Baxter took his hand and shoot it, but didn’t let go. He wanted to crush it, but merely held firm, even as Garvin tugged it away. Baxter locked eyes with Garvin. He even muscled him a bit closer, tipping him a little off balance. Baxter’s style of a roundhouse opener in this endeavor. “I hate to take your money, Doctor Garvin, but I’m willing to do that since you are.” Baxter squeezed Garvin’s hand. “But first, tell me what rocks I should be looking for.”

Garvin gave him a puzzled look.

“Oh, yeah,” said Baxter. “I didn’t tell you what we’re looking for out here, did I?” Baxter released Garvin’s hand. He watched the old man work the fingers loose in his peripheral vision, then pulled a folded piece of office copier paper from his shirt pocket. He opened it, revealing a black-and-white copy of a map hand-drawn into a field notebook.

“Where did you get that?” Garvin asked, craning his neck to see it.

Baxter felt dark inside. He hated letting anyone in on his plans. He didn’t want to need or rely on anyone. But this time, he needed help. In some way or other, he had always needed help.

“What are you looking for?” asked Garvin.

“A sign on a cliff. A humpback with a flute.”

“Kokopelli,” said Garvin.

Baxteer nodded. He knew that. He also knew how absurd it sounded.

“That’s absurd,” said Garvin. “There are no Anasazi pictographs up there.”

“Have you seen ever likely spot in Deadman Canyon?” Baxter loved the name of that canyon. If anyone spooked easily, that name would spook them.

“I’ve walked the creek,” said Garvin.

“So you’ve not scoured the canyon walls?”

Garvin shook his head. “But it’s practically impossible …”

“Practical is all I need, Professor. And my great-great-great grandfather’s field map.”

Garvin looked at the map and back to Baxter’s eyes. He nodded. Even grinned. “If there’s one back there, I want to see it,” he said. “But first, I’m going to get your two-hundred dollars.” Garvin turned and started up the trail.

Baxter watched him go. He breathed deep and let it out. Doctor Garvin had not recognized him. And he took the map at face value. Baxter smiled and started up the trail after the old man.

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Book Review for Writers: “Banker,” by Dick Francis


Banker
, by Dick Francis
Source: I’m a Dick Francis fan and the Kindle Sample convinced me to buy
Kindle price: $7.99
Publisher: Berkley (November 2, 2010)
POV: First person, locked

Every Dick Francis novel I’ve read (three, I think) have something in common: They open slowly.

Oh, they’re interesting enough. He has a gentle but firm scoop — those critical first few chapters. But they’re merely interesting, not explosive as in most American thrillers (Francis is British). Each book has been in first person locked (meaning we stay with the protagonist POV throughout with no exceptions — though Francis does slip into an omniscient POV on rare occasion, though it’s so natural it’s hard to notice), and each is essentially a flashback, with the protagonist telling the tale of what happened to him.

On the face of it, the story seems boring: Tim Ekaterin works in a bank. In the absence of his boss who has health problems, he approves a loan for a racehorse, which is put out to stud, and begins to father malformed offspring. And yet Francis escalates the story to nearly frantic proportions two-thirds of the way through. Someone, it seems, is manipulating the system.

So let’s back up and look at it from a distance. A writerly distance. It’s almost as if Francis doesn’t intend to set his plot hook in the early scenes of the book. He makes the reader invest a little by reading about relatively common, even almost boring, things (I mean, banking?). He sows just enough doubt and intrigue for the naturally curious to want to know more. So readers keep reading, but with little warning of how big the plot becomes.

How powerful is that? To a reader, it can be very powerful indeed, as I can attest. To chase and overcome is a glorious thing. After the short chase of readers following his slowly growing story, Francis sets a smallish hook (someone manipulating the system of horse-racing finances) that proves quite effective in pulling the reader almost helplessly along to the end.

The first third of the book is slow but interesting. The second third is revelatory. The last is as high-speed as a horse race. It’s a very unAmerican way to craft a story, it seems to me.

Lessons for writers:

  1. Readers can discover things on their own, we don’t have to shove them down their throat.
  2. Well-written everyday events can be compelling reading if there’s the slightest whiff of something more to come.
  3. Readers who discover things on their own are more invested and a smaller plot hook will set and pull them along.

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